what step could you take today towards reclaiming your future?
So here we are, Step Three of our blog series on Reclaiming your Future. We explored choices around thinking patterns and ways to set goals that are truly smart. This step explores commitment issues..
You may be screamingly clear about what you don’t like about your current situation, or else crystal clear about where you would love to be - yet still feel locked in some sort of holding pattern. If that’s you, congratulations! You’re definitely a human being and not a robot and you didn’t have to spot traffic lights in a series of blurred pictures to prove it.
The jury is out whether being rudderless is synonymous with powerless, but it’s obviously not a great idea to close your eyes, cross your fingers and hope that the perfect opportunity steers its way to you. Putting our trust in other people, however generous their support also doesn’t cut it. We have to commit to taking our genius, potential and fulfilment seriously.
We all know this. We also know how easy it is to postpone doing anything about it. Sadly, in the absence of a vaccine to inoculate us from procrastination, there’s a six letter word between us and fulfilment, otherwise we’ll be staying right where we are until we commit.
It’s a huge ask. What if we fail? What if what we have at the moment is as good as it gets? What if others are going to be disappointed, angry or obstructive? What if we’re not good enough? Okay. Back to thought patterns. What if we allowed our dreams to inspire us rather than feel another pressure? What if we reminded ourselves of everything we already have going for us? What if we had a look at what’s going on first and how to break the deadlock?
how to stop procrastinating
If there are fears or doubts around the process of change required, naturally it can feel overwhelming – which obviously leads to anxiety and procrastination. So what can you do? Take time to face the realities you confront to help you find a more rational balance - especially if you identify the smallest first steps you could take towards the light. Thinking abut the very worst that could happen as well as the likelihood of such catastrophes, can often help you find a more rational balance.
You could borrow marketing techniques to help you to buy your own vision. Highlighting pleasure or the avoidance of pain is a way to encourage yourself to commit to taking your first steps towards what you want or away from what you don’t want. Talk up to yourself the amazing benefits of waking up in the morning in your ideal future and the pain, shame or stagnation you’d feel if you stayed stuck for another year. While your livelihood might not depend on you staying where you are forever - your happiness and abundance might.
Contemplating this tension between your current reality and your future ideal can create positive momentum. The challenge is to try to hold those ideas together in gentle ways that inspire your unconscious self. Doing so can also help you stay attentive to the coincidences or opportunities that might help you get to where you want to be.
staying kind to yourself
If you do try this exercise, try to avoid the pain of beating yourself up, your self-talk should definitely be kind. Coaching people over their deepest fear in life – speaking in public – we suggest they try the four ‘A's for size. To help you get your head around how it worked for one person, here’s how they used it:
The act of accepting what needs to be done and how it makes us feel is actually an empowering one. It allows us to be as we are. It also allows us to recognise how understandable and normal our feelings are - so that perhaps we are them more able to take the first steps towards adapting our journey in ways that are do-able to us and aligned with our ambitions.
Maybe it’s worth having a go for yourself to help shift yourself into gear? In any case, it is okay to commit to trying. There’s no such thing as failure if you choose to see setbacks as opportunities to learn, grow and reset your course - and accept your present for what it is.
Certainly we could all stack up the social, political or economic reasons why having the life we want is currently impossible. Or, we can readjust our mindset to think about possibilities. Current bleakness might even be the catalyst we need to do something out of sheer necessity – ironically it might actually help us get to where we want to be.
leave the past where it is
If things didn’t go well for you in the past, you could ponder the factors which underpinned that landscape. Were you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated or upset? In which case you can contemplate what might help you find a more positive outcome next time. Small changes and adjustments can make a huge difference.
For those who feel they’ve lost out on opportunities that seemed rightfully theirs or suffered miserable times at work - it’s worth remembering that few people’s lives play out like a Disney film. Still we’re too precious to put our lives on hold and pray for a lottery win or for the planets to align.
Taking us neatly back to step two: Know What You Want. So, how important shifting the status-quo may be for you? Someone wise once said that we work towards change when the reasons for doing so outweigh the reasons for not.
Stephen Covey echoes these thoughts in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Instead of waiting for your own personal genie to appear, he urges proactivity,
“...you don’t have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own.”
Today’s the day you could commit to shaking things up.