Sadly, in the absence of a vaccine to inoculate us from procrastination, there’s a six letter word between us and fulfilment. We’ll be staying right where we are until we COMMIT.
So here we are, step three of our blog series on reclaiming your future. The first steps explored choices around thinking patterns and ways to set goals that are truly smart. This step explores commitment issues..
Locked up in lockdown?
Are you still dreaming about your ideal future? Have you had it up to here with the current situation but are locked in some sort of holding pattern? Congratulations! You’re definitely a human being and not a robot and you didn’t have to spot traffic lights in a series of blurred pictures to prove it.
The jury is out whether being rudderless is synonymous with powerless, but it’s obviously not a great idea to close your eyes, cross your fingers and hope that the perfect opportunity steers its way to you. Maybe especially in these times.
Putting our trust in other people, however generous their support, also doesn’t cut it. We have to commit to taking our genius, potential and fulfilment seriously.
It’s a huge ask. What if we fail? What if what we have at the moment is as good as it gets? What if others are going to be disappointed, angry or obstructive? What if we’re not good enough?
Back to those old thought patterns eh? What if we allowed our dreams to inspire us rather than be another pressure? What if we reminded ourselves of everything we already have going for us? What if we had a look at what’s going on first and how to break the deadlock?
How to stop procrastinating
If there are fears or doubts around the process of change required, naturally it can feel overwhelming – which leads to anxiety and procrastination. So what can you do?
Taking time to face the realities you need to confront can help you identify the smallest first steps you could take towards the light. As for the dark - thinking about the very worst that could happen, as well as the likelihood of such catastrophes, can often help us find a more rational balance.
You could also try marketing techniques on yourself. Highlighting pleasure or the avoidance of pain influences us on a daily basis to buy stuff - what if we used it on ourselves to help us buy our own dreams?
How about talking up, to yourself, the amazing benefits of waking up in your ideal future, or to the blame, pain or shame you’d feel if stuck for another year? While your livelihood might not be affected by you staying put where you are forever - your happiness and abundance might.
Contemplating this tension between your current reality and your future ideal can create positive momentum. The challenge is to try to hold those ideas together in gentle ways that inspire your unconscious self. Doing so also helps you stay attentive to the coincidences or opportunities that might help you get to where you want to be.
Are you prepared to stay kind to yourself?
If you do try this exercise, try to avoid beating your self-esteem to a pulp in the process, your self-talk should definitely be kind.
Coaching people over their deepest fear in life – speaking in public – we suggest they try the four ‘A's for size. To help you get your head around how it worked for one person, here’s how they used it:
The act of accepting what needs to be done and how it makes us feel is actually an empowering one. It allows us to be as we are. It also allows us to recognise how understandable and normal our feelings are - so that we might feel more inclined to action.
Exploring what do-able first steps we could take makes the journey feel more of a doddle - checking how these easy steps align with our ambitions also reminds us of all we have to offer and to gain.
Maybe it’s worth having a go at shifting yourself into gear? In any case, it's okay to commit to trying. There’s no such thing as failure if you choose to see setbacks as opportunities to learn, grow and reset your course - while accepting your present for what it is.
Certainly we could all stack up the social, political or economic reasons why having the life we want is currently impossible. Or, we can readjust our mindset to think about possibilities. Current bleakness might even be the catalyst we need to do something out of sheer necessity – ironically it might actually help us get to where we want to be.
Leave the past behind
If things didn’t go well for you in the past, you could ponder the factors which underpinned that landscape. Were you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated or upset? In which case you can contemplate what might help you find a more positive outcome next time. Small changes and adjustments can make a huge difference.
For those who feel they’ve lost out on opportunities that seemed rightfully theirs or suffered miserable times at work - it’s worth remembering that few people’s lives play out like a Disney film. Still we’re too precious to put our lives on hold and pray for a lottery win or for the planets to align.
Taking us neatly back to our step two: Know What You Want. How important is shifting the status-quo for you? Someone wise once said that we work towards change when the reasons for doing so outweigh the reasons for not.
Stephen Covey echoes these thoughts in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Instead of waiting for your own personal genie to appear, he urges proactivity,
“...you don’t have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own.”
Today’s the day you could commit to shaking things up.